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And of that big hairy nasty NSA spider scuttling around trying to grab and bundle you up every time you twang a string. You are Windsurfers in the wacko, wise and surreal universe of Philippe Geluck.
Think of Sam Lowry in Brazil floating through those super-kitsch clouds with the girl of his dreams, and you get some idea of where you are.
And where you are is free - free of humourly-challenged colleagues, self-righteous pedestrians, pompous politicians, religious bigots, boring brothers-in-law, and all those people who think they're funny, but don't get the joke.
He is someone to whom the not-always-flattering epithet Big in Belgium can be genuinely applied - a phrase actually coined by Queen Victoria about Philippe Geluck during one of her trips to visit her Uncle Leopold.
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